My baby is sleeping while I'm up at 9:54 pm writing in my blog, being a yogic mom, a good enough mom. What is that? For me, it's being present with what is; it's not being too busy or expecting too much. It's allowing space for mistakes and growth.
My baby, Liam, is almost 9 months old now and it's been a whirlwind. I wasn't married when I got pregnant and we weren't sure if we were going to stay together, so it's been nontraditional from the beginning. I'm 39 and I really wanted a baby so I was blessed with one.
I ended up going home to Washington from Colorado when I was seven months pregnant. I had a lovely Blessing Way and so much love and support. The baby's dad ended up flying out a week before I gave birth and stayed for a month after. We had the sweetest first month in this lovely cottage my friend let us stay in. His dad drove my car back to Colorado and I was going to meet him there in a few weeks. So, off I went to Colorado and we were in the mountains, then at my Aunt and Uncle's in Denver, and then at our own place in Golden, Colorado. This sounds very turbulent but in the yogic view I was just going with the flow and I felt a deep peace even though I was having many challenges.
Once we were settled in Golden, Colorado I was experiencing postpartum anxiety which was making me depressed. I suddenly realized I needed my family in Washington after an acupuncture session and promptly flew home and moved in with my Aunt Penny and Dad on Bainbridge Island, Washington and have been living here since.
What I've loved about my journey is that Liam has been able to spend time with so many people I love and treasure; my community in Olympia, my sisters in Portland, my friends in Colorado, my Aunt Chris and Uncle Willy in Colorado, and now we spend a ton of time with my Dad and Aunt and Mom. My number one priority was always that Liam has a strong tribe and he already has that.
What we focus on grows and I love to focus on what I have and what I love. I have a beautiful baby boy who has a wonderful relationship with his Grandma Pat and Grandpa Chris and Aunt Penny (which if we stayed in Colorado he wouldn't have that at all especially during quarantine). I've been able to stay home with Liam for the past nine months which I wouldn't have if I stayed in Colorado. I've been able to have an early spring (In Colorado spring doesn't truly start until May or June). I've been able to take long walks everyday (In Colorado I can sometimes but it also snows a lot and it's hard to walk in the snow).