I'm reading a book called; Windows to the Womb by Dr. David Chamberlain about how fetuses perceive the world and it's fascinating. While I was pregnant my sister told me to surround myself with loving people and be loving with myself and towards my growing baby as all of this affects his growth.
I was a little overwhelmed while I was pregnant because a lot of my life wasn't settled and I felt nervous bringing him into uncertainty. But what I practiced was talking to him about how loved he is and that I was excited for him to come (although I hoped that I was settled by the time he arrived). My labor with him lasted three days and I know it's because I wasn't fully ready for him to arrive because I was still not settled.
When he was in my womb I didn't verbally talk to him, but I did energetically. I considered abortion in the very beginning just to be sure I wanted him and I knew that 100% I wanted to keep him. When I called my partner I didn't care if he wanted him or not so I said; "I'm pregnant and I'm keeping it."
Dr. Chamberlain said that babies who are born and were unwanted often have a harder time learning and have more psychological issues. When I read that I thought; 'hmm, I'm the fifth of six kids, and my mom always say's that "I'm a happy accident"' but after having a baby and realizing how much work it is I have a feeling she had some resentment about having me, who wouldn't? I can feel it in my bones. I know she loves me deeply, but I've always had this need to prove I'm worth having around.
How much does our journey into this world affect us from conception to the fourth trimester? I like to say the fourth trimester because once a baby is born he is still not fully formed; he can't see all the way, control his body, and so much isn't fully formed yet. Many believe humans used to carry babies for 12 months but because we started standing we couldn't keep them in that long, so they finished their gestation outside of the body.
Still being in the middle of the fourth trimester I can attest that when my baby is held most of the time he cries way less than the average baby that is put down more often. We put him down but only if he let's us and we pick him up if he starts to cry vs. putting him down and letting him cry it out. Some parents don't have the luxury of doing this type of parenting or simply don't believe in it, but I've noticed that he seems very confident. I get great sleep because he's either on or next to me so he just makes noises to feed and I fall back asleep feeding him.
So many adopted babies have psychological issues because of knowing they weren't wanted. I fully believe this can be healed and if they knew they were being adopted and the mom did want them but couldn't have them and was excited for them to be adopted the adopted child would be better adjusted.
We all should talk more about the importance of supporting pregnant women to love their child even if they are in a challenging situation. Also remember the importance of sending love towards the fetus, my friends often talked to my baby while I was pregnant and I could tell he just loved it. Let's nourish pregnant women and new mothers so that they can birth the most loved and happy babies.